What is BDSM? (page 2)

Sadism & Masochism
The word sadism is derived from the french Marquis de Sade. It is therefore people sometime tend to think that he was the person to invent or introduce S & M. However BDSM is from all times; witch hunting had to do with that mainly. Le Marquis de Sade was merely the first person to write about it in an open and public way. It is not even sure he was a sadist himself.

Sadism can be described as the joy of seeing or making another person (or animal) suffer. The pure sadist is not interested in the fact whether the sub enjoys herself. As long as he can enjoy her suffering. Pure sadist are believed to be quite insensitive and with low EQ. Most Dominants in BDSM are not pure sadists although most Dominants have sadist tendencies.

The masochist is the person that enjoys suffering and having pain inflicted on them. In BDSM the pure masochist is not so much there to please her Dominant. She doesn't care about his joy as long as she can suffer. They are believed to also have a low EQ. Not many subs are pure masochists although most subs have masochist tendencies. (Note: more is explained about this in the trainig section on this site under: 'type of players')

The different parts of BDSM

Another way of looking at BDSM is to look at the different parts of it. Again one could dispute some of these parts, so we will stick to the parts I believe belomg to BDSM. In BDSM a sub gives her powers to the Dom. So in any case there must be some form of power-exchange. If there isn't I don't see it as BDSM.
I admit the borderline can be very thin, so I will give two examples of it.

Watersports (urine play, piss play) is not a BDSM activity as such. However if - in piss play - the sub is used as a human toilet, this is a form of degradation surely and degradation is BDSM allright. So urine and scat play is not a BDSM part as such even though practically it very often is. Not for the form of play, but because it is degrading.

'Fur sex' is a form of sex where partners like to dress themselves as animals and act their sex as animals. Certainly not my kink but to each their own as we often say in BDSM. I would not consider that as a pat of BDSM, although I do with pony play or puppy play where the sub is dressed and needs to behave as a horse or a dog. This mainly done to devaluate and degrade the sub (human outranks animal) and therefore it is considered to be a part of BDSM.

Bondage & Discipline
We covered this in the last chapter. Any form of play where restrictions - whether physical or mental through rules and disciplin are major parts in BDSM

Degredation

Degredation or submission is the situation where the Dom takes the power and rules over the sub in every aspect of the way. Maybe it is better to say that the sub presents her power for the Dom to take; just the way as she presents the riding crop in this picture.

Where BDSM is a play of the transfer of power, this is a major part in BDSM play. Sometimes this power transfer is nearly constant as in the situations of TPE (Total Power Exchange) or 24/7 where play can be initiated every minute of the day; sometimes the exchange is only there for the duration of that particular (incidental play.

Apart from the situations of TPE, 24/7 or prolongued D/s, in general people play with the use of a safword, that can end the play, and with that the power exchange immediately.

Degredation comes in many forms and could be physical (treating sub like a pet) or verbal (name calling or depersonalizing by referring to sub as a number). Mental forms can also be by: referring to bodyparts as belonging to Dom, using a sub as furniture; in fact there are many examples. Also some forms of punishment can be very degrading like corner time or boot blacking. Some forms of posture can be degrading as well like: face down, kneeling, hands on back, not looking at Dom, showing sexual bodyparts.

Pain

Normally pain is considered to be a bad and negative thing and that is how it should be programmed. Pain is there to warn us that something is wrong with our body. We all know however that pain obtained from necessary heavy duty or training can be a good and positive thing as well. So don't forget when a sub breaks her leg it is as hurtfull for her as for any person that is not in BDSM. However when she faces the whip that is a completely different matter.

In sexual play a women likes it when her clit is rubbed. It is considered to be a positive stimulation. A sub will see pain as a positive stimulation as well, just more intense, stronger. So she can enjoy it. More experienced subs have often learned to use the energy of the whip's impact and transfer it to a erogene zone, thus erotisizing pain. For some subs this might mean that orgasms can be initiated from pain even when not appllied to erogene zones.

We have a tendency to refer to pain as punishment even when it is not used as an actual punishment. In my opinion we should make a differende between the following three situations for the reasons that initiates them as well as the goals to be achieved:

              1. Lust: just because the Dom likes to hand it out and/or the sub likes to recieve it
              2. Correction: to change bad behaviour or sustain/initiate good behaviour
              3. Punishment: for breaking the rules

Needless to say that pain can be physical as well as mental. Pain releases hormones like adrenalin and endorphines that is what actually makes subs feel goods. Some of them can even get somewhat addicted to these substances.

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